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Dear Mushka,

Lessons Learned After 10 Years of Marriage

We haven’t done a Q&A in a while, but as we celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary today, Robert and I took some time to reflect on our marriage journey. It hasn’t been all smooth sailing! Marriage can be challenging. For those of you feeling like marriage isn’t what you thought it would be or just needing a little encouragement, we’re sharing some lessons we’ve learned and progress we’ve made.

In Robert’s words, “The worst thing you can do in your marriage is decide that you need to be the Holy Spirit for your spouse. It’s not your job to constantly point out what is wrong with your spouse’s behavior.” 

Look inward rather than outward. God is always doing work in Believers. Let Him do that and be a fellow champion for your spouse, not a constant critic. Do business with God in your own heart instead. This is true for any relationship. What should be first and most important is our relationship with God. Trying to control will always result in disappointment, but drawing close to the Lord will result in joy and peace. 

Let trials push us into God’s presence. He uses these moments to draw us towards Him. Learn how to immediately take your frustrations with your spouse to God, over and over again.

In 10 years, we’ve both changed a lot.

I have gotten softer. I’ve grown in love and selflessness. Although this is still a battle for me, I love it when we can do things together. I’ve grown in emotional awareness and learned not to withhold love when someone else doesn’t meet my desires. Learning how to sit in hard emotions instead of hiding from them has taught me so much. I’m so grateful for how the Lord works in us and makes us more like Him. 

Robert has grown in his ability to communicate well. He was reluctant to explain his thought processes in the beginning and it led to frustration on both our parts. He’s grown as a father in this area, too. We’ve both learned to slow down and meet one another's needs, laying down our own desires. Ten years ago, Robert wasn’t the kind of leader I wanted. Demanding what I wanted didn’t work. God needed to do the work! Prayer has sustained me and brought about so much growth in our life together. 

And with that tiny bit of encouragement, we wish you all a blessed day!

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Christian Jewelry Pieces that Share Hope

In the midst of this worldwide pandemic, we know that we are called to be the Light of Christ to our neighbors. These 5 Dear Mushka pieces each have a verse focus for loving your neighbors well and offering the source of Hope and Comfort to those around you. 

The Comfort Earrings

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God · 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

The Comfort Earrings are shaped like two tear drops for the reminder that our troubles aren't for nothing. As God draws near to us in our cries we can, in turn, draw near to others in theirs. May these earrings point you to The God of All Comfort.

The Gospel Necklace 

How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news · Isaiah 52:7

The Gospel Necklace carries these words for us to hold near as we experience hardship. We have been given the most precious gift of the Gospel. Let’s share it with those in need so they will find lasting peace and hope in Him. 

The Goodness Earrings

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them · Ephesians 2:10

The Goodness Earrings remind us that God KNEW we would be alive right now, and he has created good works for us to do. Nothing is a surprise for God. Let’s ask Him what good works He’s planned for us today. As we link arms and walk together in spirit, let’s support and encourage each other.

The Verb Necklace

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer · Romans 12:12

For all of us asking the question, “What do I do during this time? These three action steps are always right: Be joyful in hope and share it! Be patient in this affliction! Be faithful in prayer!

The Lantern Necklace

You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. · Matthew 5:14

The glass pendant of the Lantern Necklace reflects what’s around it. In the same way, we reflect what we soak up. Use this time to dive into the Word and then reflect Him back to those around us.

We are the lights of Jesus. Panic and fear and death are real, but we have hope to offer! These are the perfect pieces to gift your loved ones and friends during these challenging times and will be delivered straight to their door to offer hope. 

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Top Ten Best Sellers for March

10. The Verb Necklace

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer · Romans 12:12

For the girl who just doesn't know what to do next, "verb" offers a list of three actions that are always right: be deeply joyful because of what Jesus has done, be patient as you walk through trials, and pray. Always, always pray. 


9. The Stability Necklace

And He will be the stability of your times, A wealth of salvation, wisdom and knowledge; The fear of the Lord is his treasure · Isaiah 33:6
The Stability Necklace is made up of two pillars, one hanging from the other, as a reminder that we must cling to the Lord for our stability, salvation, wisdom, and knowledge.

8. The Goodness Earrings

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them · Ephesians 2:10

Shaped like little nails, the Goodness studs are beautiful reminders that we are God's workmanship, created for good works. Let's link arms and walk in them together, Sisters.


7. The Comfort Earrings

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God · 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
The Comfort Earrings are shaped like two tear drops for the reminder that our troubles aren't for nothing. As God draws near to us in our cries we can, in turn, drawn near to others in theirs.

6. The Adorn Hair Tie

Let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious · 1 Peter 3:4 

These sweet hair ties are easy to wear, and come with a precious reminder to adorn yourself with a gentle and quiet spirit before anything else.


5. The Abide Tee

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me · John 15:4
A happy, pink tee with the sweetest reminder to abide in Christ daily. Need I say more? Bonus: It's extra long, perfect for layering over yoga pants!

4. The Progress Earrings

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ · Philippians 1:6

The Progress Earrings are half hoops for a tender reminder that God is not finished with you yet. You aren't chastised for your imperfections or left as an unfinished work of art; instead, you're being refined daily as we walk towards eternity, together. 


3. The Kinship Necklace

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. · 1 John 3:1

This is The Kinship Necklace, made to look like little peas in a pod, reflective of 1 John 3:1. We are children of God! And as such, we beautifully begin to look more like His son, Jesus, every day. If the world is harsh towards us, we can rest assured that it was first harsh towards Him. We are never alone.


2. The Believe Bracelet

Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!" · Luke 1:45

The Believe Bracelet is made up of tiny 14k gold fill beads, a reminder of all the promises God has given to us. Like Mary, may we believe that the Lord will fulfill each and every one.


1. The Knot Necklace 

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.  This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. · Ephesians 5:31-33

Beautifully, Christ cares more about our marriages than even we do. He is in them and for them, and He designed marriage to reflect something much bigger than each of us. For that reason, "knot" seeks to remind every wife to respect and love her husband, and to keep fighting through the hard days. Put it on and say a prayer for your spouse every time you feel it move across your chest! 

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The Kinship Necklace for Comfort in Uncertain Times

The Kinship Necklace is a personal favorite, one of my most worn pieces. It comes with a beautiful verse from 1 John 3:1, “What kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him.”

The necklace was designed with three small beads made to look like little peas in a pod. Because God loved us and called us His children, we start to look more like Jesus and so look more like each other. Like peas in a pod, we are all daughters and sons of Him. We reflect His love to all who look at us. 

I feel this is such a sweet friendship or sister piece. The little pop of color will brighten up any outfit in a gentle and subtle way.  

Give this piece to a friend who could really use the reminder that she is a daughter of the Most High God. Maybe gifting this necklace is a way into a relationship with a new neighbor. The Kinship Necklace provides a little happy in times of uncertainty.  

As we look at what is happening in the world right now, when we feel like our foot is slipping, let’s read this passage and cling to the truth. God has made us his children. Remember precious words from the Bible - if He has given us His Son, will He not also give us all things? He is the Father who gives good gifts to His children. He satisfies the hungry soul. 

When we’re hurting, scared and lonely, we can rest in our daughtership. We will be okay no matter what happens if we stay safely nestled in Him.

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A Reminder to Cling to the Lord in Times of Uncertainty

The Stability necklace may appear like a simple everyday necklace, but it certainly makes a statement with its unique design. As you look at it, you’ll know a deeper story lies behind it. I’m praying it starts conversations and allows you an opportunity to share the gospel with others. 

This short necklace comes with a much requested verse from Isaiah 33:6, “And He will be the stability of your times, A wealth of salvation, wisdom and knowledge; The fear of the Lord is his treasure.”

The two pillars in the Stability necklace, a small one hanging from a larger pillar, serves as a reminder that we must cling to the Lord for our stability, salvation, wisdom and knowledge. 

Sometimes it feels as if the future is so uncertain.  We watch the news and wonder what is happening all over the world or in our own country. May we cling to this verse as we live in a broken world. This promise of God as our Stability was originally given to the Israelites, but it applies to us today. 

God, be our salvation and wisdom. We look only to You. Be our greatest treasure! 

Click to shop this piece and others from our Spring Line.

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Wedding Season Picks for the Bride, Bridesmaid, and Guests

Wedding season is upon us-- here are my picks for the Bride, Bridesmaids, and Guests who want to bring a gift!


1. The Pearl One Necklace for a simple, classic piece. Save it and hand down to a daughter one day! 

2. A No. 139 Necklace, Earrings, or Bracelet to honor your wedding month, acknowledge an important person who couldn't be with you at the wedding, or simply to add a little pop of color

3. The Believe Bracelet because your wedding day is a beautiful time to reflect on the promises God has made. Bonus: It's a little bit of pretty on your wrist for all those flower pictures!

4. The Befitting Earrings for a neutral and sparkly touch to your dress; they'll look lovely with your hair (and boast a reminder that we all need in marriage). 


1. The Comfort Earrings for just the right pop of color and a verse with a "thank you" for being a comforting friend. 

2. The Companion Bracelet as a promise that you'll stay friends and are so grateful for her love all these years. Choose the color that accents your wedding the best! 

3. The Kinship Necklace because you feel like peas in a pod and are honored to be a sister, through Christ, with her

4. A piece of your choice, as you read each verse and choose the one your friend most needs. She'll feel so loved and seen! 

Don't forget to add Bridesmaid/ Maid of Honor Packaging

To Gift:

1. The Knot Necklace to remind her that her marriage is a reflection of Christ's love for the church

2. The Servant Necklace because serving a spouse won't always feel easy, but it will be so worth it. Look to Jesus as your example! 

3. The Eclipsed Lg. Necklace with a sweet photo of the couple tucked inside. Aww!

4. The Called Necklace with her new last name initial, and "&" or the first initial of both her and her husband (she can add children's initials down the road).

5. The Progress Earrings with a note to remember that both she and her husband are works of progress in the Lord; give lots of grace and enjoy being sanctified together. 

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Bold Earrings for Spring

The Comfort Earrings are surely the boldest design Dear Mushka has ever offered! Available in 12 stunning colors, you’ll be hard pressed to choose your favorite.  

The earrings are paired with a special verse from 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God".

These words from 2 Corinthians inspired the design of the earrings to be of two teardrops. As we experience suffering and walk through difficult seasons, God meets us in our troubles and our tears.

He draws near to us when we cry out to Him. Because we experience his comfort, we learn to draw near to others in their times of distress. 

What a gift! Our God is the God of all comfort and we do not suffer in vain. He will use our pain and anguish to not only comfort us, but also to reveal Himself to others and show them His glory and love.

May these earrings remind you of God’s perfect love for you and offer you or a loved one joy in a time of need.

Click to shop them now or browse our other Christian Jewelry pieces for Spring. 

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A Guide to Singleness for Christian Women

I recently chatted with Tara Leigh Cobble, founder of the Bible Recap and the D Group Ministry, about her perspective on singleness. You can watch her talk on the highlight here. As we learn about how God views singleness, let’s cheer one another on exactly where God has us, as sisters in Christ and Daughters of the King. 

Tara is single and an active member of the church. About a year and a half ago, she realized she was wrestling with the Lord against her singleness. God opened her eyes to the topic and she acknowledged that God was “doing” singleness in her life. Although she’s always wanted to be married, yielding to God’s plan brought unexpected freedom and joy. It was a relief! She still wants to be married, but she stopped filling all her prayer time with this topic, stopped wasting time on dates that don’t amount to anything. She gave this time back to the Kingdom.

Several well-meaning people said, “Now that you’ve laid this down, you’ll meet him!” Do you  recognize this combination lock? “When you get it together, you’ll be married.” This can also be in the form of “God’s working on you. When you get it together that’s when the Lord will bring Him along.” 

Marriage doesn’t come because we have our acts together! In fact, a spouse is often part of our refinement process. It was hurtful that others couldn't let her be in this space of content singleness. It’s true that we’re often uncomfortable with pain and we speak thoughtlessly.  Some seem to think a single person is unfinished. 

It can be challenging in a culture like the church where people may believe that marriage is the norm. In fact, singles should be embraced as “unbroken” and part of the norm. People often get married young in the church and think something is wrong if they’re not married by age 22. 

She wants single people to know there is nothing wrong with them that isn’t wrong with the rest of the world! We have a very good God with a very good plan. She has clung to this verse: Psalm 145:17, “The Lord is righteous in all His ways and kind in all His works.” Singleness can be His greatest kindness. Saying ‘yes’ to a prayer for a husband could be less kind than a ‘no’. Trust that the Lord is doing what is right and best for your joy and His glory. 

If you’re married, marriage is His greatest kindness to you even when it’s hard! Singleness and marriage are both gifts given by the Giver. Let the church recognize this! God may change those gifts for us, but we should live in His gift and kindness right now. 

It’s helpful when our brothers and sisters come alongside us instead of pushing against what God has given to singles in their lives. We aren’t promised tomorrow, much less a husband or even a good husband. Live in the gift! Seek the Lord and you’ll see that, married or single, He is where the joy is.

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Top Ten Best Sellers for January 2020

10. The Lamentations 3 Print

But this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness · Lamentations 3:21-23
A ready-to-frame print made for an eternity-focused home. Add it to a gallery wall or let it stand alone, it's beautiful either way. 

9. Chain Extenders

8. The Progress Earrings

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ · Philippians 1:6

The Progress Earrings are half hoops for a tender reminder that God is not finished with you yet. You aren't chastised for your imperfections or left as an unfinished work of art; instead, you're being refined daily as we walk towards eternity, together. 

7. The Poise Earrings

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come · Proverbs 31:25

Adding a touch of sun-kissed color to your face and seeking to bring to mind the most beautiful qualities, the "Poise" rose or gold sticks are truly lovely. Slip strength in one ear and dignity in the other and then joyfully laugh at whatever your day may bring; you've got this, girl.

6. The Aid Necklace

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds · Psalm 147:3

Strung onto 16" of chain, a stardust bead sparkles and seeks to fill the hole created by loss and heartache.

5. The On Earth Raglan Tee

Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven · Matthew 6:10

A crazy soft raglan tee that boasts words from Jesus as He taught His disciples to pray. May we put it on and remember that as image bearers of God, we are to work with Him to bring His holy and just Kingdom to Earth. 

4. The Eclipsed Lg Necklace

Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known · Jeremiah 33:3

"Eclipsed" is a bold locket necklace, beckoning you to call out to God; there you will find the sweetest, hidden answers. You just have to ask and open your heart.
A lovely on-trend necklace for anyone in need of a little sentiment and a little hope.
What sort of love might you put inside? A photo? A tiny note? A kiss?

3. The Honey Necklace

God's words are more precious than gold and sweeter than honey. · Psalm 19:10, shortened

"Honey" is the sweetest reminder of what is most valuable is this world. It's gold color and honey drop shape both serve as subtle hints to seek God's words before the details that make up this brilliant necklace. It is lovely, yes, but only when put in its proper place of value.

2. The Held Bracelet

Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand · Isaiah 41:10

"Held" is a simple bracelet, easy to slip on and perfect for a dose of rose gold shine on your everyday.

1. The Ambassador Necklace

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light · 1 Peter 2:9

Read this verse slowly, sister. You are chosen, royal, holy, & called. When you wear The Ambassador Necklace, never forget your identity in Christ. And as the disks catch & reflect the light, boldly proclaim the "excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light" to those around you. 

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Answering Your Questions on Business, Marriage and Discipleship

Our kids are watching a show in the kitchen while we do another round of Q&A! I’m Katie, the founder of Dear Mushka and my husband Robert helps me run the company. This month we're discussing all things business, marriage and discipleship. 

Q: What were your jobs pre-Dear Mushka and what was it like to make the jump to being full time in your business?

A: I was a psychology major. I knew I wanted to be married and home with my kids, so I never went beyond my bachelor's degree. I worked at various doctor’s offices until one day I just decided to stop and start Dear Mushka. At the time, Robert was working at Home Depot, so it wasn’t the best financial timing, but God provided! 

Robert was an IT project manager. It took him nearly a year to feel ready to go full time. He wanted it to feel as much like a guarantee as possible. Adjusting to being his own boss was a challenge initially, but now he’s into it! He loves being home, working with me and supporting Dear Mushka. 

Q: Katie, how do you balance work, free time and motherhood?

A: It’s helpful to have a list of priorities. For me to be the best mom, wife and business owner, I need two things: I need time with the Lord in the morning and I need to exercise. I try to make those things happen and then the rest falls in line. 

I work on Mondays and while my boys are napping. Reading and gardening are my favorite hobbies. I do those with the boys around or in the evenings. 

Some days or even seasons are better than others. When my boys were newborns, I didn’t wake up early to be with the Lord or exercise. We survived!

Q: One tip for a newlywed?

A: I was so lonely the first year of our marriage. I gave Robert so much of my time and energy, I didn’t leave room for female friendships. I’d recommend still prioritizing time for yourself and the things you did before you got married.

We both agree that it’s wise to establish new routines and boundaries as a married couple. I swung too far and neglected what made me a healthy wife and person. Communicate and be willing to reevaluate.

Q: How do you like your spouse when they’re unlikeable?

A: Don’t make the foundation of a marriage whether your spouse is likeable or not. The foundation of your marriage is based on deep and abiding love. We can both be pills to live with, but we said vows. Remember that you weren’t likeable when Christ saved you. Use the same eyes to see your spouse. You love them with the eyes of our Lord rather than whether or not they’re meeting your particular needs in that moment.

Q: How did you meet and what were you originally attracted to in each other?

A: We met in college at MTSU. I ‘entrapped’ him to make an ex-boyfriend jealous! Oh, to be 19 again! 

Originally, and still today, I was attracted to Robert because he’s fiery! He was flirty which I didn’t like, but I knew underneath that he was passionate and willing to fight for what he wanted and believed in. I rarely know exactly what I want or think, but Robert always knows. I need that! He’s so intelligent and funny. 

Robert was attracted to my independence and confidence. I didn’t play any of the flirty mind games he was used to with girls. This initially frustrated him, but ultimately encouraged his interest in me. 

I’m so grateful the Lord went before us in the marriage. We were so young and immature.

Q: What are your love languages?

A: We’re so opposite! Robert loves words of affirmation. He can’t get enough of them. I’ve had to learn a lot about this as I don’t need this at all. I pray weekly that God would give me words to heap on Robert! Remember that God is for our marriages. Pray to Him to cover your weaknesses.

I’m a mixture of quality time, acts of service and gifts. Robert likes to spend a zillion dollars on me, but I prefer small, meaningful gifts. Really, I just want to feel known and seen. He’s been making the bed for me, and I feel so loved! 

Q: How do you think and process?

A: Robert never stops thinking. He thinks about everything all the time. 

I’m the opposite! I’m a verbal processor. Something I said at the beginning of a conversation isn’t necessarily what I’ll mean at the end. I don’t process for long and make decisions quickly. 

Q: How do you serve the local church?

A: We’re both on the prayer team. Robert prays at church with people in person and I pray at home over any requests that come in. He’s also a group coach guiding group leaders. Unofficially we’ve started having our church’s residents over on Thursdays to eat dinner and talk. We love it! 

And of course we tithe. That’s part of serving your local church!

Q: What are your favorite date night activities?

A: Robert loves Bonefish Grill or J. Alexander’s! He doesn’t like surprises or unexpected results. He wants to know the food will be great and we can relax and enjoy the evening. 

I love doing something new and fun! We’re really different y’all! We probably do one proper date night a month. It’s usually dinner and walking around a store. Just being somewhere calm is so refreshing. 

We try to do two date weekends away a year. We stay in a hotel locally and that’s when we usually eat at a new restaurant or have an adventure. I’ve learned to try out new experiences with friends and then invite Robert along once I know what to expect. 

Q: Is it normal to feel scared about getting married?

A: Yes! It would be naive not to be afraid to some extent. Marriage is a major life change! It’s hard and it takes a lot of effort. Recognizing the weight of marriage before you enter into it is wise. Feeling extreme anxiety or discomfort though could be the prompting of the Holy Spirit to re-examine your decision. 

Q: Do you have divisions of family labor between husband and wife?

A: Robert is the spider killer and trash remover! 

We came into our marriage assuming our spouse would do what we saw our parents do. This is another conversation you should have before you get married! My dad did so many of the household chores, I expected Robert to do more than he did. We’ve learned to communicate and adapt for what we need in different seasons. Mostly I handle the daily chores and errands and Robert does big or long term tasks like insurance and taxes. I gladly choose sweeping over taxes. 

Q: How do you manage when one person needs more (like in sickness)?

A: Robert has had a few knee surgeries that required me to do more and I’ve had kidney stones. If your spouse needs more, you try to give more. Marriage is not primarily about you and what you get, it’s about reflecting the way that Christ loves and serves the Church. It’s for our companionship and sanctification and for our joy. The more you serve, the more joy you’ll have. 

Currently, the last few weeks have been hard for me. Robert has been good at giving me support. He’ll do bedtime with the boys so I can grab coffee with a friend or walk around a bookstore alone. This has been so life-giving for me! 

The Holy Spirit can give us strength and power to love our people beyond what we feel capable of.

Q: Do you play with your kids or let them play independently?

A: Both! Robert wrestles and kicks around the soccer ball with them. 

A dear friend once told me, “It’s your job to be your child’s mother, not playmate.” I found this freeing. I don’t frequently play around on the ground with our little ones. I read or do puzzles with them. I also encourage them to play together independently.

Q: What should male leadership in the home look like?

A: The apostle Paul tells husbands that they are the head of the family as Christ is the head of the Church. The model is based on sacrificial love, not overbearing patriarchy. Christ died for the Church. He laid aside his rights, powers and privileges. Follow His example in the leadership of your family. Be the first to repent, apologize and seek reconciliation. Biblical male leadership isn’t a dictatorship. Demanding certain actions isn’t Biblical leadership. Robert is great at this (all glory to God). I’m able to thrive because he creates an atmosphere for us to flourish in. 

Robert describes male leadership as being like a snow plough. You’re clearing the way for your family’s journey, making it easier, safer and guided. This doesn’t mean Robert is always the first to pray or initiate conversations about God. But he’s created a place where it’s safe for me to do so.

We love answering these questions each month and getting to know you all better! Follow us on Instagram to watch our daily stories for more. 

For adoption questions, see my adoption highlight here! It has tons of info!

For parenting with natural consequences, see my discipline highlight. You can also read my blog on my Go-To Parenting Books

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